In Allah We Trust :)

حسبن الله ونعم الوكيل نعم المولى ونعم النصير

 Cukuplah Allah sebagai penolong dan Allahlah sebaik-baiknya penolong.

✔ Rabbighfirlii (Tuhanku, ampuni aku)
✔ Warhamnii (Rahmati aku)
✔ Wajburnii (Tutuplah aib-aibku)
✔ Warfa’nii (Angkatlah derajatku)
✔ Warzuqnii (Berilah aku rezeki)
✔ Wahdinii (Berilah aku petunjuk)
✔ Wa’Aafinii (Sehatkan aku)
✔ Wa’fuannii (Maafkan aku)

Kelak, Ketika Kita Bertemu

Kelak, Ketika Kita Bertemu

embun-akung

photo credit to: Dedi Sobari

Kelak, ketika kita bertemu akan kutadah
kata-kata yang mengalir dari matamu.
Kutampung dalam helai-helai daun.
Kubiarkan malam menguapkan menjadi
embun. Dan, di suatu pagi akan kau
temukan puisi di samping tempat
tidurmu. Puisi dari kata-katamu sendiri.

2010
~ Lelaki Budiman ~

A Little Surprise On Long Weekend

What a life!

Segala cerita ini dimulai dari tanggal 18 April, hari Jumat. Awal dari akhir pekan yang panjang (dan pastinya melelahkan bagi sebagian orang. Oke, itu gak jadi fokus postingan ini kok :D )

Rencananya adalah Ichi (seniorku masa kuliah di Depok dulu) mau berkunjung ke Rumah Cinta di Sederhana Bandung. Nah, dari kapan tau gak jadi-jadi, tau-tau dia bilang mau datang tanggal 18. Awalnya aku gak ngeh. Pas dia bilang mumpung libur, aku langsung cek kalender. Nyengir. Pantesan. Baiklah, silakan datang ke Bandung dan mari bertemu dengan adik-adik pasien kanker itu ;)

Bertemu di seberang MTC, lanjut mencari toko baju anak. Begitu melewati area PUSDAI, ada pasar kaget. Turun! Berburu! :D Alhamdulillah, dapat beberapa baju lucu. Lanjutkan perjalanan ke Sederhana deh! Bertemu beberapa adik-adik yang sedang berada di Rumah Cinta, memberi sedikit cinta yang kami punya, bercanda, dan foto-foto dong ah. ;)

Pulang dari Rumah Cinta, tetiba Ichi bilang, “Ke rumah Takumi ya? Sekarang. Nginep. Tante culik!” Bengonglah aku. Hah? Oke, di tengah rasa terkejut yang gak bisa hilang, sampailah kami semua ke Cikarang. Tepatnya KM34.7 Jababeka. Yaksip!

Setelah makan malam, anak-anak sudah beristirahat, aku dan Ichi bernostalgila (sampai ketawa kayak orang gokil itu apalah namanya, 14 tahun gak ketemu lah ini!) dan berbicara banyak hal. Tentang keluarga, perjuangan, anak-anak, masa kuliah. Banyak deh!

Tanggal 19 pagi, kami ke tempat berenang yang berada tak jauh dari rumah. Penduduk Jababeka pasti tahu deh lokasi yang dimaksud :) Menyenangkan, suasananya ramai tapi masih terkendali. Anak-anak bermain air selama kurang lebih 4 jam diselingi makan pop mie :P Aku juga dapat pemandangan bagus, tentu saja! :lol:

Siang hari, enak banget buat tidur nih. Ditambah hujan cukup deras membuatku lumayan nyenyak juga nih. Bangun pas sore, rada kliyengan. Anemia kambuh lah ini. :( Malam hari, setelah rebutan martabak keju yang ternyata endang bambang itu, aku dan Ichi melanjutkan obrolan nostalgila. Ternyata kami banyak kesamaan. Etapi maaf ya, bukan untuk dipublikasikan :P :lol:

Tanggal 20 pagi, aku dan krucil kembali ke peradaban. Pulang. :)

Banyak banget yang ingin dibagi bersama Ichi. Tentu, krucil juga masih ingin bermain bersama Takumi. Banyak keajaiban dari Allah yang menghampiri kami bertiga ketika bertemu Ichi dan Takumi. We’re so blessed :) Thank You, Allah...

Suatu saat nanti, aku yang akan membalas segala kebaikan Ichi, atau meneruskannya kepada orang lain. Pay it forward. Pelajaran di akhir pekan yang sangat berharga.

Iro iro na doumo arigatuou, senpai :)

The Spontaneous Idealist In Me

Spontaneous Idealists are creative, lively and open-minded persons. They are humorous and dispose of a contagious zest for life. Their enthusiasm and sparkling energy inspires others and sweeps them along. They enjoy being together with other people and often have an uncanny intuition for their motivations and potential.

Spontaneous Idealists are masters of communication and very amusing and gifted entertainers. Fun and variety are guaranteed when they are around. However, they are sometimes somewhat too impulsive in dealing with others and can hurt people without really meaning to do so, due to their direct and sometimes critical nature.

This personality type is a keen and alert observer; they miss nothing which is going on around them. In extreme cases, they tend to be oversensitive and exaggeratedly alert and are inwardly always ready to jump. Life for them is an exciting drama full of emotionality. However, they quickly become bored when things repeat themselves and too much detailed work and care is required. Their creativity, their imaginativeness and their originality become most noticeable when developing new projects and ideas – they then leave the meticulous implementation of the whole to others. On the whole, Spontaneous Idealists attach great value to their inner and outward independence and do not like accepting a subordinate role. They therefore have problems with hierarchies and authorities.

If you have a Spontaneous Idealist as your friend, you will never be bored; with them, you can enjoy life to the full and celebrate the best parties. At the same time, they are warm, sensitive, attentive and always willing to help. If Spontaneous Idealists have just fallen in love, the sky is full of violins and their new partners are showered with attention and affection. This type then bubbles over with charm, tenderness and imagination. But, unfortunately, it soon becomes boring for them once the novelty has worn off. Boring everyday life in a partnership is not for them so that many Spontaneous Idealists slip from one affair into another. However, should the partner manage to keep their curiosity alive and not let routine and familiarity gain the upper hand, Spontaneous Idealists can be inspiring and loving partners.

Adjectives that describe your type
spontaneous, enthusiastic, idealistic, extroverted, theoretical, emotional, relaxed, friendly, optimistic, charming, helpful, independent, individualistic, creative, dynamic, lively, humorous, full of zest for life, imaginative, changeable, adaptable, loyal, sensitive, inspiring, sociable, communicative, erratic, curious, open, vulnerable.

===============

Based on the result on HERE :)

A Marriage Advice From A Divorce Man

Sounds wrong but here the answer:

———————-

Obviously, I’m not a relationship expert. But there’s something about my divorce being finalized this week that gives me perspective of things I wish I would have done different… After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here’s the advice I wish I would have had…

1) Never stop courting. Never stop dating. NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love.

2) PROTECT YOUR OWN HEART. Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife. Keep that space always ready to receive her and invite her in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there.

3) FALL IN LOVE OVER and OVER and OVER again. You will constantly change. You’re not the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same person you are today. Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other everyday. SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don’t take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else or seal you out completely, and you may never be able to get it back. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her.

4) ALWAYS SEE THE BEST in her. Focus only on what you love. What you focus on will expand. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is reasons to be bugged. If you focus on what you love, you can’t help but be consumed by love. Focus to the point where you can no longer see anything but love, and you know without a doubt that you are the luckiest man on earth to be have this woman as your wife.

5) IT’S NOT YOUR JOB TO CHANGE OR FIX HER… your job is to love her as she is with no expectation of her ever changing. And if she changes, love what she becomes, whether it’s what you wanted or not.

6) TAKE FULL ACCOUNTABILITY for your own emotions: It’s not your wife’s job to make you happy, and she CAN’T make you sad. You are responsible for finding your own happiness, and through that your joy will spill over into your relationship and your love.

7) NEVER BLAME your wife If YOU get frustrated or angry at her, it is only because it is triggering something inside of YOU. They are YOUR emotions, and your responsibility. When you feel those feelings take time to get present and to look within and understand what it is inside of YOU that is asking to be healed. You were attracted to this woman because she was the person best suited to trigger all of your childhood wounds in the most painful way so that you could heal them… when you heal yourself, you will no longer be triggered by her, and you will wonder why you ever were.

Allow your woman to JUST BE. When she’s sad or upset, it’s not your job to fix it, it’s your job to HOLD HER and let her know it’s ok. Let her know that you hear her, and that she’s important and that you are that pillar on which she can always lean. The feminine spirit is about change and emotion and like a storm her emotions will roll in and out, and as you remain strong and unjudging she will trust you and open her soul to you… DON’T RUN-AWAY WHEN SHE’S UPSET. Stand present and strong and let her know you aren’t going anywhere. Listen to what she is really saying behind the words and emotion.

9) BE SILLY… don’t take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh. And make her laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier.

10) FILL HER SOUL EVERYDAY… learn her love languages and the specific ways that she feels important and validated and CHERISHED. Ask her to create a list of 10 THINGS that make her feel loved and memorize those things and make it a priority everyday to make her feel like a queen.

11) BE PRESENT. Give her not only your time, but your focus, your attention and your soul. Do whatever it takes to clear your head so that when you are with her you are fully WITH HER. Treat her as you would your most valuable client. She is.

12) BE WILLING TO TAKE HER SEXUALLY, to carry her away in the power of your masculine presence, to consume her and devour her with your strength, and to penetrate her to the deepest levels of her soul. Let her melt into her feminine softness as she knows she can trust you fully.

13) DON’T BE AN IDIOT…. And don’t be afraid of being one either. You will make mistakes and so will she. Try not to make too big of mistakes, and learn from the ones you do make. You’re not supposed to be perfect, just try to not be too stupid.

14) GIVE HER SPACE… The woman is so good at giving and giving, and sometimes she will need to be reminded to take time to nurture herself. Sometimes she will need to fly from your branches to go and find what feeds her soul, and if you give her that space she will come back with new songs to sing…. (okay, getting a little too poetic here, but you get the point. Tell her to take time for herself, ESPECIALLY after you have kids. She needs that space to renew and get re-centered, and to find herself after she gets lost in serving you, the kids and the world.)

15) BE VULNERABLE… you don’t have to have it all together. Be willing to share your fears and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes.

16) BE FULLY TRANSPARENT. If you want to have trust you must be willing to share EVERYTHING… Especially those things you don’t want to share. It takes courage to fully love, to fully open your heart and let her in when you don’t know i she will like what she finds… Part of that courage is allowing her to love you completely, your darkness as well as your light. DROP THE MASK… If you feel like you need to wear a mask around her, and show up perfect all the time, you will never experience the full dimension of what love can be.

17) NEVER STOP GROWING TOGETHER… The stagnant pond breeds malaria, the flowing stream is always fresh and cool. Atrophy is the natural process when you stop working a muscle, just as it is if you stop working on your relationship. Find common goals, dreams and visions to work towards.

18) DON’T WORRY ABOUT MONEY. Money is a game, find ways to work together as a team to win it. It never helps when teammates fight. Figure out ways to leverage both persons strength to win.

19) FORGIVE IMMEDIATELY and focus on the future rather than carrying weight from the past. Don’t let your history hold you hostage. Holding onto past mistakes that either you or she makes, is like a heavy anchor to your marriage and will hold you back. FORGIVENESS IS FREEDOM. Cut the anchor loose and always choose love.

20) ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. In the end, this is the only advice you need. If this is the guiding principle through which all your choices is governed, there is nothing that will threaten the happiness of your marriage. Love will always endure.

In the end MARRIAGE isn’t about Happily ever after. It’s about work. And a commitment to grow together and a willingness to continually invest in creating something that can endure eternity. Through that work, the happiness will come.

Marriage is life, and it will bring ups and downs. Embracing all of the cycles and learning to learn from and love each experience will bring the strength and perspective to keep building, one brick at a time.

These are lessons I learned the hard way. These are lessons I learned too late.

But these are lessons I am learning and committed in carrying forward. Truth is, I LOVED being married, and in time, I will get married again, and when I do, I will build it with a foundation that will endure any storm and any amount of time.

If you are reading this and find wisdom in my pain, share it those those young husbands whose hearts are still full of hope, and with those couples you may know who may have forgotten how to love. One of those men may be like I was, and in these hard earned lessons perhaps something will awaken in him and he will learn to be the man his lady has been waiting for.

The woman that told him ‘I do’, and trusted her life with him, has been waiting for this man to step up.

If you are reading this and your marriage isn’t what you want it to be, take 100% responsibility for YOUR PART in marriage, regardless of where your spouse is at, and commit to applying these lessons while there is time.

MEN- THIS IS YOUR CHARGE : Commit to being an EPIC LOVER. There is no greater challenge, and no greater prize. Your woman deserves that from you.

Be the type of husband your wife can’t help but brag about.

Credits: Gerald Rogers

I reblogged from HERE.

“Kapan Kamu Jadi Perempuan?”

Itu pertanyaan yang membuatku nyengir polos, semakin acuh, dan tak mau mendengar pertanyaan berikutnya.

“Kamu gak pernah pake rok ya, An?”

“Maskara favorit lu apaan sih, An?”

“Eh, eye shadow ungu itu lucu. Suka gak?”

Foundation buat mukamu yang ini aja, An.”

“Gamisnya cantik nih. Coba deh.”

STOP IT, PLEASE? :( Aku bukannya gak mau. Aku hanya merasa… Useless. Well, begitulah. Call me naive, tapi kalau aku dandan, untuk siapa? Am not please anyone. Baru aja mulai pakai lipstik warna pink, rame aja jagat raya. Karena biasanya aku pakai warna nude atau cokelat. Bukan gak pede. Aku mau banget pake merah. Tapi untuk siapa? Itu aku mikir dari zaman dahulu kala deh.

Puluhan foto gamis, jilbab, aksesoris, perlengkapan lenong apalah itu setiap hari seliweran di Facebook atau Twitter atau Pinterest. Aku hanya bisa menelan ludah. Males beli. Menguntungkan buat siapa? Si penjualnya saja.  Aku? Terjebak dalam situasi tidak mengenakkan. Satu yang paling kuingat adalah ketika pertama kali membeli Lip Crayon Impact Striking Pink dari Oriflame, warnanya begitu terang dan membuat rasa percaya diriku lumayan naik dikit. Dikit aja sih. Pertama aku keluar rumah dengan lipstik itu, semua mata tetangga melihatku seolah sedang menelanjangiku dengan aneka tuduhan. Well ya, I already knew it. Beberapa hari kemudian, kulihat satu tetanggaku memakai lipstik warna merah manyala dan seketika itu pula aku merasa tertampar dan tersinggung. Unspoken words say anything and untold stories couldn’t be understood by the other. It hurts me. Being a normal woman just makes me weaker.

Come on, am not a bitch. Can you, people, stop judging me like reading a cheap gossip? Tapi, bagaimana pun aku membela diri, tetap dianggap salah. Apapun yang kulakukan tak akan membuat mereka mengerti. Bisakah dipahami mengapa aku tak pernah bisa tersenyum untuk orang-orang yang menganggap statusku adalah hina? Rasanya lebih baik dianggap tidak ramah, sombong, intoleran, judes, atau apalah.

not everyone

Aku bisa mengetahui. Ya, the unspoken words those said by their eyes. Sepandai apapun mereka menyembunyikan, aku mendengarnya. Aku tak bisa marah meski ingin. Itu hak mereka untuk menggunjing dan berkata hal tidak benar tentangku. Apa peduliku? Toh aku juga tak peduli dengan mereka. Tak pernah mau ikut campur dengan urusan mereka. Tentu, dengan harapan mereka tak akan berani mendekat area pribadiku. Salah. Aku salah. Tetapi aku tak peduli.

Justru karena aku penyendiri, bersikap dan bertingkah beda dengan yang lainnya, maka aku dianggap alien. Apa peduliku? Tak ada.  Semakin hari, rasanya semakin lelah memikirkan hal yang membuat energiku terbuang percuma. Maka, semua ini terasa lucu karena aku menjadi konsultan kecantikan sebuah perusahaan kosmetik dunia. “An, kamu kerjanya promosiin kosmetik, tapi kamu sendiri gak dandan.” Aku cukup tersenyum tanpa menjawab. Take a look at my eyes. It will say, “It will be more dangerous than you think if am trying (even only try the tester one) using them all.” Hihihihi….

Jadi, kalau ada yang bertanya kapan aku berubah menjadi perempuan, lagi-lagi aku hanya bisa tersenyum. “Tak ada yang berani bertanya seperti itu padaku. You know what I mean. Habis perkara.” Lagipula, celana gunungku lebih nyaman tinimbang long maxi skirt yang menghalangiku untuk berlari lebih cepat. *eh* :lol: